Tonner Factory Sale 12/3, 10am-1pm Holiday Inn, Kingston NY

This is the funniest email Tonner has sent out in a long time.

*****

November 29th, 2011

Dear Collectors,

Hi!  Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know what to expect this weekend at the Factory Sale (12/3, 10am-1pm----> Holiday Inn, Kingston NY)!  After using the same space at the Holiday Inn several times now, it has been our experience that, due to the large size of the room, there is plenty of space to accommodate everyone entering at once. So, this year, we will not be handing out numbers in the morning, as we have in the past.

Here's some more guidelines and tips you might find helpful this weekend:

• Bring your own bag!  ....and the bigger, the better, we can assure you! 

• There will be a wonderful Holding Area, where you can sit with un-purchased items while you decide what you'll go home with.  To be as fair as possible to all our collectors, we will be asking people not to delay in making final decisions and completing purchases. So, encampments around the perimeter of the room will be kindly asked to disperse - no tear gas or law enforcement worries! 

• We accept many forms of payment for your convenience:  Cash, Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Bribery and Flattery.  Sorry, we do not accept personal checks, Diner's Club, your first born child, or the Discover card.

• No pushing, shoving, running, or kicking.  Or punching.  It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...

We cannot wait to see you this weekend!!  We will see you bright and early Saturday morning, and hopefully you'll follow us onto the Tonner Company Store, as Robert will be there to sign your latest and greatest finds!

Travel Safe,

Team Tonner

 *****

For those of you who have not attended a factory sale in the last three or four years...this is really what to expect:

1. The 'early birds' line up with the intention of getting anything they can lay their hands on before you.
2. The doors open and the first to enter grab anything and everything they can lay their hands on.
3. The shoppers accumulate in small groups around the room with their grabbed stuff to decide if they really want it or not.
4. Eventually they pay for it and leave the scorched earth for everyone else. (50 Harry Potter wands and another 50 Betsey anklet socks. ) They do put some stuff back. Hey, I still have an enormous bolt of apricot silk that cost me only $5. I have no idea what I will do with it, but it was quite the bargain.

5. You wander around looking at what's left trying to decide if you want it. 

I'm quite certain that there are at least three or four (and maybe more) fully armed and coordinated groups of buyers who plan their moves in advance. Their strategy is: one goes left, one goes straight, one goes right. Their theory is that if they grab enough stuff fast enough, they will get something they want. Do not, I repeat, do not talk to them during this maneuver as they will shoot you a dirty look and will not respond. Do not ask to see what they are getting. They are very secretive and suspicious of anyone who approaches. I swear this is the truth. I've been there and I know exactly who I will see at the front of the line if I go on Saturday.

The staff is extremely coordinated and helpful. They are always a pleasure to deal with and it is a relief to check out of the madness. There's usually a bunch of sale items at the store after a sale but don't quote me. It's just my experience. 

I wouldn't try to dissuade anyone from checking out one of these sales. It's much more fun than a cyber-factory-debacle. And you can meet up with the same addicted collectors you saw the last time to share tips and hints. Then, of course, you get to mingle with friends at the store and chat with Robert, Noreen and any other staff that might be around.

My favorite big sale was one that was at the store about 1-1/2 years ago. It was a little cold and there were tables set up outside as well as inside. It must have been early spring 2010. I got such nice things that day and I didn't have to rise at the break of dawn or get mauled while shopping.