I Vant to Suck Your Blood

Until recently Vampires were the stuff of horror novels and movies. Stories of the undead go way back in mythology and folklore but according to Wikipedia, the "charismatic and sophisticated vampire of modern fiction was born in 1819 with the publication of The Vampyre by John Polidori..." "However, it is Bram Stoker's 1897 novel Dracula that is remembered as the quintessential vampire novel and provided the basis of the modern vampire legend."

My Mom told me that when she was a teen she saw the original Dracula movie and was truly terrified. It was reported in newspapers that at the opening of this film, members of the audience actually fainted at seeing the horror. Bella Lugosi could scare the crap out of a door knob without saying a word.

Oddly enough it was my mother who introduced me to Anne Rice's books. First I read the fabulous Mayfair Witch series and then I went on to read The Vampire Chronicles and the rest of her books. If you have never read her witch novels, you don't know what you're missing! The two themes ultimately entwine. They are very satisfying. The Twilight series pales by comparison. There are similarities Meyers sprinkled in her books but like the entire series, there is no depth.

This wasn't meant to be a book review but I just finished reading the Twilight series. Most of it was fun and rather simple-minded. There was nothing scarier than speeding cars in any of the four books. The really scary vampires get torn to pieces or go floating off back to Italy.

For those who couldn't get enough of the Twilight movie, Robert Tonner produced Edward and Bella last year. They are two of the most boring-looking dolls that could be imagined. Robert Pattinson does not look like this doll. I wonder what he thought when he saw it. Kristen Stewart is prettier than her vinyl counterpart as well. But I think the vacant look on the doll portrays Bella's personality well. Edward's hair looks afraid.

Images are property of Tonner Doll Company.

Last week, Mattel revealed their version of Bella and Edward. The Mattel dolls are truly tragic. There was no attempt to make the Bella doll look like the character at all. She's Barbie. The Edward doll looks like a miniature Tonner Edward with bad skin.

Image property of Mattel.

Come on...this guy is fabulous-looking. I collect Tonner's dolls and if there were a doll that looked like Robert Pattinson, it would have been in my house already.

Now for a little more realism in a set of (just under) 7" action figures from NECA. According to promotional material they are posable and highly detailed. They're very appealing at under $30 for the pair compared to $139.99 retail for Tonner's dolls. Mattel's duo come in at about $25 each.

Give me Lestat, Louis or Marius any day.

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By the way, bats are good. They eat mosquitoes.