The Benefits of Being a Brown Noser

Every so often some goody two shoes will criticize my style of expression and tell me how I should express myself or that I shouldn't express myself at all because I am hurting the feelings of a doll designer.

In a recent episode, I posted a simple statement that I thought a doll was ugly. It wasn't someone's doll that they had posted a picture of; it was a specific doll from a manufacturer. I could have said that I didn't like her sculpt and I thought it was ugly. I could have said that I didn't like the extreme paleness of her vinyl or that I thought the dress looked cheap and that's what made her ugly. I definitely could have expressed it differently and explained why I thought she was ugly. But I just came out and said it simply. She is ugly.  I happen to like the performer that she is said to represent but I don't see the resemblance.

Others in the thread like the doll and some did not. There was a mix of opinion. I'm lucky in that I don't need to tell others how to express themselves and I certainly don't need to protect the manufacturer or the designers from the opinions of others. If they were being attacked personally, that would be a different story but this was about a product being offered for sale.

In this particular case, the critic wanted me to be positive in my criticism and constructive.  Well I positively think that this doll should not be constructed again. 

She said:
"There's another colloquialism that comes to mind here. Something to the effect that opinions aren't special and everyone has them. To say that you think something is ugly doesn't provide any insight. Also it's not very nice or constructive to the designers who have spent countless hours creating the doll. They've worked hard to bring the doll into existence and I think it's only fair that we should have to substantiate our opinions with arguments and evidence that we've actually given the matter some thought. " (The red highlight is mine.)

Is she talking about assholes on a doll board? If you don't know it, the actual expression is "Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one. "  Or "Opinions are like assholes; they all stink." So all of her thoughts aren't angelic. She's pretty snide if you ask me and definitely baiting the hook. I substantiate my opinion about a doll with my pocketbook. I bought the doll; she didn't.

However, the truth behind her criticism lay elsewhere. Apparently I jumped her on the line at the Integrity store! OMG I'm so ashamed of myself. Seriously, if that happened, it was not intentional. Many people got in front of where we were waiting.

I'm am ashamed to admit that at about 10 AM I sat down in the hall with my friend Dante and a few others near the store to wait on line for a few hours (!) until the store opened. There were very few people already seated near the door and there were some people sitting on couches around the corner from the door. Later on I was told that those people on couches were on line. Well, when we stood up and the door opened we stood aside and those people went in first.  

Well I certainly apologize if I bought the doll she wanted. Oh wait, there were a few hundred of each doll. And no, I didn't run right up to the register like some to buy the grab bags. I didn't even know there were grab bags.

 My critic wrote:
"I know that you write for FDQ. As a writer I expect more from you. And I also know that you love the Integrity dolls as I do. I know that because I saw you while I was waiting in line with my husband to get into the souvenir shop at the convention (first you were behind us then you were ahead of us). My point is, doll collecting should be fun. Bring more of the love and less of the negativity. If you must be critical, please at least make an effort to be kind and constructive about it."

I have to be a little snide here myself and say that her grammar is not all that good. The construction of that sentence means that she is a writer and expects more of me. There should be a comma after the word writer.  Maybe she is a writer but I don't think that's what she meant. She wants to hold me to a higher standard.

When I read the part about being ahead of her on line, I realized that she was not really talking about a doll at all. This was her personal resentment at me for being jumped (if I actually did that) or an attempt to raise herself to the heavenly level of collectors (aka sycophants) who are always lovely and loving.  I swear, I'm not making this up. I hope she takes me up on my invitation to discuss this issue via personal email.

Let me just say this about brown nosing: it works with at least one of the employees of that company.  

"I took a few shortcuts on the foundation. No one will ever notice."

Cartoon: by Larry Hehn on August 4, 2010